Dreams
by GGabz
Summary: R D fic, how will Ronnie and Danielle cope with each other when they have been found? R R pleaseeee :
1. Chapter 1

'Baby, I love you, more than you could ever know.' Ronnie says to her daughter

'But how, how do you know?' Danielle replied hastily, well she wanted to know the truth, if they were to have a mother daughter bond it would have to be on trust.

'I went through the adoption agency, the point is Danielle, how long have you known?'

Danielle gulped at this point, she didn't want to tell her mother this, but she needs someone to trust, to tell everything to, she needs her mother. '5 months before I lived here.'

Ronnie felt so guilty, for knowing that her daughter couldn't tell her. So guilty for her own daughter not to tell her anything.

'We're gonna be ok, you and me Danielle, were gonna go against the world.'

'DANIELLE, WILL YOU GET UP SOMETIME SOON, WEVE GOT TO RUN THE STALL' Stacey made sure Danielle was in trouble with her, since when has Danielle slept in?

And so Danielle woke up from one of her many dreams with her mother.

Just another usual day for Danielle and Stacey, Stacey shouting at the customers whilst Danielle being polite. The usual.

The whole day Danielle couldn't stop thinking about Ronnie, should she tell her, that 'Amy' is alive, and she has talked to her during the past 7 months of her live? At one point she was re-living the dream of the night before.

'Dan, I need you to get me a coffee please.'

'Right ok, sure whatever.'

Danielle, walked over to the café, meeting Stacey's mum on the way, she can talk forever thought Danielle who never listens to Jean.

'Two coffee's please Bianca.' Danielle asked Bianca, she wasn't in the mood to go into a polite conversation.

'That's £2:00 then please Dan, thanks, how you doing?'

'Ok thanks.' There was a bit of an awkward silence, then Ronnie came into the café, knocking Danielle out the way.

'Watch where your going Danielle, god if I didn't have enough on my mind already, bacon sandwich and a coffee please Bianca when your finished.'

Danielle felt gutted at this point, I should really tell her, she would treat me so much nicer then she thinks.

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I know, another r+d fic, but what do you think of it? Please r+r. thanks a lot J Abbi x


	2. Chapter 2

'Ronnie is such a wrong'un Dan, she's not worth it,' Stacey says to Danielle after she repeated the earlier events to her.

'Yeaa, but I just want to get to know her, that's what,' Danielle replies remembering her dream.

'Oh come on Dan, you have me, you don't need anyone else, just you and me, against the world. It's like you have a fascination over her, ' Stacey being clearly concerned over her friend, but doesn't want to make a big deal out of it, 'anyway, I'm thinking, we got more customers today, why don't we go R'n'R and get wasted, maybe get a few lads go crazy? It'll keep your mind off HER at any rate.'

'Yeaa, sure, whatever.' Danielle replied, not listening because she was so fixated on her daydream about her and Ronnie.

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Ronnie was setting up at the R'n'R for 21'st birthday when Jack walked in, with a bunch of roses.

'For you,' Jack handed the roses to Ronnie, 'Look, I'm so sorry that I slept with Roxy, so sorry you wouldn't believe. It just happened, I can't explain it. But you're the one I love,' Jack said, hoping they could somehow still be friends, maybe even more.

'You know what Jack, I'm tired of your stupid little games, I'm only here to work, as this is half mine, not for you to tell me how sorry you for being the father to my sisters child are or to buy me crappy flowers for an apology. Your not worth it,' Ronnie interrupted hoping it would shut Jack up before he would melt her heart, its so hard for her to cope with the fact that Jack is Amy's dad.

After seeing Danielle today, Ronnie wondered actually why she seems to be stalking her recently,

'I might as well take it as a compliment,' She thought smiling.

What do you think, I thought better to carry on with the background before going into the story. Sorry it's a small chapter, kinda a filler. Please r+r. give me ideas people, writers block taken over J umm, I wrote this in r.e whilst meant to be listening to the teacher so you know :P x


	3. Chapter 3

Danielle and Stacey were getting ready for a night out in the R'n'R and Stacey was applying make-up.

'Stace, I don't feel too good, do we have to go out tonight?' Danielle really didn't want to go out, all she wanted was to tell Ronnie the truth.

'Yes, because I need you to get your mind of bloody Ronnie, and getting drunk will help things,' Stacey getting agitated by the minute, she wanted her best friend back, not some loser who is obsessive over a 30 year old woman.

'Yeaa, you right, sorry, so is the pub?'

'Noooo, R'n'R, get fit lads, never know what could happen.'

So they leave the house and up in the R'n'R's.

'Wait, is Ronnie working?' Danielle clearly concerned.

'What happens If she is? Does it matter? Seriously, no lads will have you if all you talk about is Ronnie, come on,' and so Stacey dragged Danielle into the club, 'Have a drink Danielle, maybe a few shots? Get completely wasted, that's what I'm counting on!'

Danielle putting on a false act 'Well yeaa, vodka shots all the way,' she was more worried in case she saw Ronnie and Ronnie will wonder what the hell they're doing there but she wanted Stacey to be happy, so putting on an act is more than usual.

'Well girls, what you like,' Ronnie talks to them as friends, well she knows them she doesn't need to be mean to them. Even If she thought Danielle was a bit of a stalker, the more money spent the better.

'6 vodka shots please Ronnie thanks,' Stacey replied giving Danielle a wink. Stacey really just wants to make tonight enjoyable for both of them.

'You sure about that Stacey, Danielle doesn't look too good,' Ronnie replied actually being concerned for once, seriously, since when was Ronnie Mitchell concerned she thought to herself.

'Yes I'm sure, I really need to take my mind off things,' Danielle interrupted, she didn't want to be kicked out just yet.

Ronnie delivered the drinks and Stacey gave her the money, and by that time Danielle already had 2 shots.

'Bloody hell Dan, since when have you drunk so fast,' Stacey said to her friend.

'Since when have you bothered to care, come on Stace, I just want to have fun, you ask me to come with you and then you act like my mum, your not my mum,' Danielle was pratically shouting now. They had barely been there 5 minutes and already Danielle was drunk.

'Well come on then, lets have another shot and have some fun,' Stacey replied.

And so the night continued, lads bought lots of shot's for Danielle and Stacey and soon Danielle was so drunk she could hardly walk.

'Danielle, seriously, you should go home, you need some sleep,' Ronnie said to Danielle, worried that something might happen to her. Then it hit her that she actually cared for Danielle.

'Well, it's not like you care about me or anything, I can do anything, be with whoever I want whenever I want.' Danielle replied drunkingly

'Well Danielle, please go home, seriously your embarrassing yourself, you need to go now otherwise I might kick you out,' Ronnie muttered.

'Honestly Ronnie I don't care anymore, I've been trying to tell you for months and you havn't listened once, why should I care anymore?' Danielle screamed.

'Let's get you home Dan, come on, lets not make a scene,' Stacey said, helping her walk out of the club.

Ronnie was in shock, what had Danielle been trying to tell her? She needed to go and find out.

'Jack, look after the bar for a bit, I know your busy with the party, please,' and Ronnie left and followed Stacey and Danielle.

Outside, Danielle and Stacey were shouting at each other,

'Can't we just have fun Dan. Every time I take you somewhere you always have to make a bloody scene,' Stacey shouted.

'Well, to be honest Stacey that's you most of the time, and at least this time, I have a reason for it,' Danielle slurred and she started to walk into the road.

'What's it now Danielle, that you want Ronnie to be your friend, she won't ever be your friend, she's no-ones friend and you know it,' Stacey said nastily. At this point Ronnie was outside watching.

'No, Stacey much more than that, you don't know the real reason why I came here, I came here to find my mum, you know the one that actually gave birth to me, and didn't want me, I hoped that she might want me, but after everything she's said to me, I was proven wrong, she doesn't want me,' Danielle was walking drunkingly in the road.

'Dan, who is it, who is this mother of yours?' Stacey enquired.

'Bloody Ronnie Mitchell, and you know what, she just doesn't want me, she doesn't love me at all.'

And with that Janine didn't notice that Danielle was on the road and Janine ran Danielle over.

Ronnie's face, she was in shock, she didn't know what to think, she thought she was lying, but it would make sense, all the stalking, all the caring about her.

'Baby…'

Well, I don't know what you think to that, but I actually like it. The next few chapters will shock you to the core, it's abit wrong but you know. Please read and review and thanks to all that have reviewed so far. Will Danielle live? How can they be mother and daughter? Read the next chapter to find out J Abbi x


	4. Chapter 4

'Danielle baby, please wake, I love you so much. I can't believe you found me. We have so much to catch up on, and no matter what please I will be there for you every step of the way darling, just please wake,' Ronnie started sobbing, she couldn't control her joy of finding her daughter, yet the idea of loosing her again, her emotions were all over the place and all she really wanted was her daughter to be ok. The doctor walked in and Ronnie then re-gained composure

'She should wake, soon, right with everything she has been through it will be a shock when she wakes, please Miss Mitchell, just be there for her, she's going to have a lot to get through.' The doctor smiled, she had met Danielle before, but he thought it wouldn't be the right place to tell Mrs Mitchell why so he didn't say anything, 'When she wakes, I would like to see her, I need to give her some news, then you can talk to her if that's ok.'

'Yeaa sure, thank you for saving her,' Ronnie was trembling now.

'I'm only doing my job,' and with that the Doctor left the room just leaving Ronnie and an unconscious Danielle.

'Danielle, I love you with all my heart, you're my Amy, we are going to do lots of girly things together, just you and me.'

Suddenly Danielle started screaming…

'Get your hands off me, please don't touch me, please…. Nooooo,' She started to sleep scream out loud.

'Dan, are you ok, what's happening, are you awake?' All these questions started to come into Ronnie's mind, what kind of childhood has she had? Why is she screaming these things.

'Please don't touch me, please, I'll do anything, not again, please. You're my daddy, please nooooooo,'

Ronnie pale faced was in shock, what had her father done to her, had he hurt her, all this guilt started to overtake all emotions. She didn't know if she was wanted. She knew what she wanted, but she didn't know what Danielle wanted. She started to worry about whether or not should she be here, she should be with her family, but is she her family? If anything has happened to Danielle, if she was hurt in the past, she could never forgive herself, ever. Danielle started talking again.

'Ronnie, I need to tell you something, I'm your daughter, yet you don't even want me, you wished me dead, I don't know where I am right now, I just need my mum. Ronnie, will you be my mum? Ronnie you there? No-one wants me, no-one cares, I'm lost'

Ronnie's heart had mixed emotions, of course she wanted her daughter, but for her to be lost, sad, confused made her feel so guilty she once more couldn't control her emotions as a tear fell from her eyes. Yet Danielle said one thing in that last sentence which made her heart leap with joy and Ronnie couldn't leave her, so she stayed with her all night.

**Well, this is an idea I've had for a while, what's happened to Danielle is much worse than you think. I'm really sorry if the next chapter offends you, because it's defiantly harsh on the situation, plus her past isn't what Eastenders wrote, but this is my story and I will respect others opinions.**

** What will happen when Danielle awakes, will she tell all about her past or will she do a Ronnie and shut down? What has the Doctor got to do with it. Will Danielle and Ronnie be able to have that mother and daughter relationship?**

** Thanks so much for the reviews guys, please hit that green button below and review more, and please give ideas to what will happen next, it will really be helpful. Thanks x**


	5. Chapter 5

Thanks so much for the reviews so far, all are like 'will they be happy'. I can promise some happiness but I'm afraid to say not for a while yet. Sorry. Anyway, the story continues…

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Danielle woke up with a start, she noticed the needle in her hand, and with a bad headache to boot, she was trying to work out what had happened the night before. She then saw Ronnie, by her side, fast asleep with her head towards Danielle's knee. Danielle's emotions filled with disgust, ;why the hell was she here,' she thought 'I don't even know why I'm here, I don't want her, I want Stacey to tell me what had happened, for us to go home and for me to go back to working on the stall and for me to figure out ways to tell Ronnie the truth, like it had been for the past seven months.' Then, she noticed the doctor and she froze.

'Oh god, why you why you,' She whispered, but the doctor caught her words.

'I'm here to help Danielle, like I did all those years ago, and this charming young women here claims to be your biological mum, I'm so glad you've found her, really happy for you,' and then the Doctor left the room but not before he said 'oh and Danielle, you've got an ultrasound scan at midday today, then you can go home.'

Danielle's head was spinning, she couldn't remember anything, when was the last time she had had sex? Then it dawned on her. The night after the abortion, she went seeking Jack for comfort, just like Roxy did. That night, he gave her the night of her life, then to be told the next day to keep quiet about it, and she had forgotten about it up until now. Why why why she thought? So she put her head against the pillow and thought about her options.

About fifteen minutes later, Ronnie woke up, and saw that Danielle had turned her head to the side.

'Danielle, you awake?' Ronnie asked politely, trying to work out what she was going to say next.

'Go away, you don't want me, since when have you wanted me, no-ones wants me,' Danielle replied with a little anger in her voice.

'I know everything, you told me last night, or rather you told Stacey and I was there,' Ronnie said, hoping the truth would be better to tell her.

'What? I don't remember a thing. Why would I tell Stacey?'

'You were drunk darling…' Ronnie tried to say to her.

'DON'T YOU DARE CALL ME THAT! YOU HAVN'T CARED ONCE, NEVER, ALL THIS TIME I'VE TRIED, TRIED. AND YOU HATED ME. SINCE WHEN HAVE YOU CARED, NOW GO AWAY,' Danielle screamed as loud as she could at her, trying to show how much she didn't care, but Danielle's heart was saying for her to be happy that Ronnie was there.

'Shush, please Dan, please, I'm so sorry about everything,' Ronnie knew that the words coming from Danielle's mouth was out of anger, and she knew she deserved everything she got from her daughter.

'Too right you should be,' Was all that Danielle replied, and even the reply was quiet.

'What does that mean, yes I know I deserve every bit of shouting, screaming, screeching you give to me, but I hope we can make a life together, do some proper girly things like,' Ronnie pleaded with her daughter. She's already lost her once, almost lost her last night and she never wants to loose her again.

'We can't Ronnie, I can't, my past is awful, you don't even want to know,' Danielle started to say trembling with the thought of remembering her past.

'Please Dan, please, let me know, I want to know everything about you. All your favourites, your past boyfriends, everything,' Ronnie told her, trying to get rid of her 'Ice Queen' image for her daughter, she needed her to open up, Ronnie just wanted her Amy.

'Please, I don't want to go through it, please don't make me,' Danielle asked her. She was so angry at everything her mother had said to her for the past seven months yet her mother's kind words now made her heart melt, 'Why am I here?'

'You were knocked over by a car, straight after you told Stacey,' Ronnie's words were whispers, she didn't want to remember the previous nights events, 'Have you seen the doctor yet?' She asked.

'Yes, and that's why I need to tell you everything, but I don't know how to explain it. My anger for you would be over taken because I would have to trust you, that only dad + Gareth know, I don't know whether I can, I can't control anything,' Danielle's words turned to trembling sobs, she couldn't say it, could she?

'Whenever your ready, I'm here. I will always be here, I will never leave you again, I love you,' Was all that Ronnie said, she didn't want Danielle to know that she was sleep screaming the night before and that she had heard it all, she wanted the conscious Danielle to tell her.

Dun Dun Dunn…. Will she tell her? Sorry I needed abit of fluff before I write the rest cruel things. Lol. I didn't want this chapter to go like this, but it happened when I was writing and I couldn't stop! Please review and I promise I will write my version of Danielle's past. I know the whole daddy and dad may confuse you but is he the same person? More importantly, how will Ronnie cope with the fact that Danielle is pregnant? How will Ronnie react to Danielle's shocking life? Well hit that green button below and you'll found out lol J x


	6. Chapter 6

'I'm gonna have to start from the beginning if that's ok with you,' Danielle started, with her head still to one side she turned over and look at Ronnie who was looking at her. Ronnie nodded. Danielle looked straight into the ceiling and carried on, 'I didn't get adopted to start off with, I just went into different foster homes. Then when I was five I was put into a care home,' Ronnie listened fully, making sure she heard every word her daughter said, if they were going to start a mother/daughter relationship, it would have to be truthful from the start.

'Then when I was around six this couple came into the home and decided they wanted to foster me. And after three months of living with them (not to mention lots of toys and games) I decided to call them mummy and daddy, because they were acting like they were. Then one night…' Danielle stopped, unable to control her emotions yet still looking up at the ceiling, tears flooding down her face, 'Please Ronnie, please, don't make me go through this, please,' Danielle cried.

'If you go through it this time, you'll never had to again,' Ronnie said, comforting her daughter yet she would really like to know why she was screaming last night.

'Daddy came into my room, he said "Let's keep this our secret", he touched me, I cried for help, he just laughed and said "your mummy's out and your real mummy doesn't want you, I guess your all mine". I lost my virginity that night. I was six.' Danielle looked relieved that she had said it, even though her tears were flooding. Ronnie also had tears in her eyes, she couldn't believe her daughter had been through all that pain, and she felt guilty that it was her action at the age of fourteen which had caused it.

'Danielle, can I ask, did it happen again, I'm so sorry. So sorry.' Ronnie said, unable to hold back the tears any longer.

'Every Friday night up until I was eleven,' Was all that Danielle replied. The two of them didn't know what to say next. Then after 5 minutes Danielle had the courage to say something else.

'I got pregnant, and by the time I knew I was past having an abortion, they made me have her,' Danielle murmured, yet Ronnie heard it all. She was in shock, her daughter actually had another child. At the age of 25 Ronnie was a grandmother, she couldn't take it in.

'I'm, I'm a grandmother?' Ronnie stammered.

'I suppose you are,' Danielle replied, actually unsure what to say next.

'When mummy found out, she was very angry and in shock, she didn't expect daddy to do these things, she didn't find out until I was about six months gone. She called social services when I was giving birth, they took her away, I was deemed to be in a much too fragile state to look after her. I got 20 minutes with her. My baby,' Danielle was just sobbing now, and Ronnie couldn't look into her eyes, she felt so much bitterness towards this man who she had never met, and she thought her dad was bad.

'Danielle, my baby…'

'I SAID DON'T CALL ME THAT' Danielle shouted, too distressed to say anymore, she turned her head back to the other side and thought about the consequences of her telling Ronnie. Plus she hasn't told her everything yet. Danielle was actually scared of her mother, not knowing whether her Ronnie would be angry at her for being pregnant again, and that Jack was the father. She really wanted her mother, but because she was scared of loosing her, she was pushing her away.

At the same time, Ronnie was really worried for her daughter, the fact that she made her abort her grandchild, and that Danielle already had a child already. Danielle had been through exactly the same as her, but at least Ronnie wasn't raped. Ronnie was welling up with tears.

LOL, I really hope you liked the chapter, I didn't like writing it myself, I don't like writing about people's pain. But yet is there more to come? How will Ronnie react to Danielle being pregnant, and that Jack is the father? And how does the doctor fit into it? Well, hit that green button and you might find out LOL. J

Abbi x


	7. Chapter 7

**I'm Backkkkk. With all the stories that have come back and I have very much enjoyed reading them, gives me a reason not to do my revision, I decided to carry on writing this story, and I noticed that I had written this chapter and not published it, so here it goes, I'm really sorry if anything offends you, and if I owned Eastenders, why would I ever write this?**

* * *

They didn't say anything for about five minutes, and it was turning 11am. Danielle didn't know if she could tell Ronnie by midday that she was pregnant. Everything Danielle had told her already won't sink in for days. Danielle was so worried. She didn't know whether to trust her mother. The clock was ticking and Danielle became clearly concerned. Even though Ronnie was in shock, she noticed Danielle's facial expression changing.

'Danielle, are you ok, do you want me for anything,' Ronnie stammered. She didn't know what to say to her daughter. She didn't know how to react. 'I'm so sorry.'

Danielle realised why all these things had happened to her. She didn't want the pain no more, and if that meant having no mother she would do it. 'Like you care, if it wasn't for you and your stupid life I wouldn't have had to go through everything I did. You didn't want me. You don't care. Just go back to your Mitchell life. Go back to your family. You just went off to Ibiza and got drunk and had fun. Where was I Ronnie? Roxy, Amy, Peggy, they want you so badly, I know it, Roxy can't live with out you. Maybe its about time I didn't want you.' It pained her to say those things. But the saying goes 'You have to be cruel to be kind.' And although she wanted Ronnie, she didn't want the pain. 'Who would want a daughter like me?' And Danielle didn't say anymore.

The words that came from Danielle's mouth shocked Ronnie to the core. She didn't want Danielle to say those things. She wanted to be Danielle's family. She wanted to be the one Danielle went to. She needed to have Danielle in her arms. And those last words made Ronnie's guilt even worse. To listen to her own twisted words scared Ronnie. 'I want a daughter like you. I want you. No matter what, I'm here. I will do anything, please Danielle, I just want to be able to hold you, have you in my arms, I just want you.' Ronnie was trying so hard to gain her daughters trust. And to also try to show that she wasn't hurt by her daughters words. Both backfired. As now Danielle was angry.

'Just go, please. I don't need you. Your family does.' Danielle whispered, hardly being able to say those words anymore, trying to make sure she went away but knowing inside her heart. Ronnie noticed these words and with them she noticed a Mitchell trait.

'Your pushing me away, I did it to you. It takes a pusher to know another pusher. Please Danielle. Tell me what's wrong.' She was at her last resort, one more comment and Ronnie would of left the room, knowing that her daughter didn't want her, and although she would of hated it. She would accept it. She just wanted Danielle to be happy, and if it meant leaving her. Then she would.

'Do you seriously want to know. Do you?' Danielle just wanted Ronnie to shut up and leave, and now she realised it wouldn't happen without telling her the truth. Ronnie was just about to respond when she said. 'I'm fucking pregnant Ronnie, I'm pregnant.' Ronnie's pale face whitened…

**DUN DUN DUNNNNN. Hit that green button and I might write a new chapter. Anyone who loves Gossip girl, Torchwood or His Dark Materials please look at my other fics and review. There in desperate need. Will Ronnie get over the shock of her daughter being pregnant for a third time in her life? Will Danielle and Ronnie become mother and daughter? Well, please review. Abbi x**


	8. Chapter 8

The one thing Ronnie ever wanted, a baby. She realised this when she was fourteen, when her father made her give away her baby Amy. It wasn't really the idea of a baby, well it was, but she needed someone to look after, so she started to look after Roxy during the rest of those years. Nineteen years later, her baby in the hospital bed, having a past full of abuse still shocking Ronnie. Then, the fact that her baby is pregnant, and that she has already had a baby who is now eight years old, shocked Ronnie. She didn't know what to say, she wanted to be the fantastic mother she has wanted to be to her baby for the past nineteen years, but this information, it's too much.

A noise came from the bed, Danielle's voice, each time Danielle spoke, Ronnie grasped it and made sure it was always there, every word, ever sound made from her baby girl, like it's the last time ever she would be able to hear her words.

'The irony is, I called my baby Amy' Danielle didn't really understand why she had called her baby Amy, it was a kind of instinct. Rather like she didn't know why she needed to say this now. Although she didn't want to say it, she felt safe around Ronnie now, she has never felt this safe around someone before. But in the back of Danielle's mind there is always that idea that Ronnie could instantly turn back into her other image and call her awful things. Yet the idea of being safe over powered this worry.

Ronnie started to smile when Danielle said this, she felt it was a sign, her grand daughter being called Amy. This built up the courage to finally speak to Danielle, like Danielle was Ronnie's force, that Ronnie could do anything whilst Danielle was still alive, still able to speak. 'Dan, we will find her, just as you found me, but first of all, we need to make sure that this baby is ok, with last night and everything, your stress is caused by me, last night is caused by me, but we've got to make sure that you and the baby is ok.'

'We?' Danielle replied, 'you want to be there now do you, you want me now, remember when I was last pregnant, you left me, you didn't want to help me. I was planning on telling you that day, had all these plans, your just going to ruin it, you always do.'

Ronnie tried to hide the pain from Danielle's words, but it's true, Danielle didn't need someone like her. She had just put Danielle down, she had shown her daughter the worst in her, without even realising.

'Danielle, if this helps I'll change, It's been so hard not having you, a wall that is covering the real me, but these past few hours, the wall is coming down, because of you. So no, I don't doubt you don't need me, but I need you, to become whole again. Baby, I'm going to leave now, I've got to. Just for a few hours, so you need me to bring anything?' She needed to work out what she wanted to do, but she really needed to see Danielle soon.

'I need you to be with me for the scan in less than 20 minutes,' replied Danielle really quickly, an almost silent whisper in mega fast mode yet Ronnie heard every work. She said this turning her head away from Ronnie, she couldn't believe that she had just said that, she had just said she wanted to be with Ronnie. Completely contradicting herself. The battle in her head was over, she needed Ronnie, probably more than Ronnie would ever need her.

'If that's what you want, I'll stay,' Ronnie was in a mix of emotions, she needed to get out so that she could work out what to do, but there's this happiness that actually her daughter wanted her to do something with her, be there for her.

Danielle saw a docking station by the side of her, so she thought nothing of putting her ipod in and pressing shuffle, until it was Taylor Swift 'I'm only me when I'm with you' came up, she was about to press next when Ronnie said 'So, you're a fan of country music then,'

Danielle replied 'Well, not really, just Taylor Swift, her lyrics are amazing, but everyone says it's because she writes everything truthfully, and I just really like her voice, sorry I'm rambling,' Danielle ended her speech with muffles, not quite sure what to say next.

Ronnie said 'I think she's pretty good to be honest, completely different to anything else I've heard before, this song has meaning for me,' trying to show Danielle she has a positive personality, that she actually is a person, was going to be more difficult than she thought. All she wants is for them to have some kind of relationship, but stiff talking isn't going to get them anywhere.

'How come this song has meaning? It's about how being with someone can make someone themselves,' Danielle paused for a few seconds, thinking what she has said through, 'Who has made you feel like that?' Danielle decided to question this, not only to try to make conversation but to try to get to know Ronnie, with the battle over, she needed to know things about her mother, maybe some random things might be good to start with.

Ronnie didn't really want to answer this question, as it might make Danielle feel awkward, 'To be honest, it's more nineteen years ago, when I had you in my arms,' Ronnie said this slowly, not wanting the reaction she knew she was going to get.

'Please Ronnie, I'm trying to get a conversation, yet the one thing I don't really want to talk about again is going to be brought up constantly isn't it?' Danielle butted in, she didn't want to talk about it, just the random things will be ok, the things they are in desperate need to talk about hurts her too much.

Five minutes of more Taylor Swift in the background followed, and then a nurse knocked on the door and came in.

'Danielle, can we move you so you can have your scan now?' The nurse smiled, Ronnie wondered whether she could see the tension in the room.

'Yes, sure, thanks,' Danielle Stammered.

**thankyou to all that have reviewed, I would really love for others to press that green button. just a bit of fluff because It needed some taken off subject a bit. Sorry to all that don't like Taylor Swift, but I felt that Danielle is someone who loves proper cheese, and she was a teenager so you know. No copyright's intended regards Eastenders + Swift. If I owned Eastenders, Danielle would be alive, so I wouldn't be making this fic :)**

**Who's liking E20? random question but you know**

**thankyouuu. Abbi x**


	9. Chapter 9

As the gel was rubbed on Danielle's stomach, she held onto Ronnie's hand tightly, she has also wanted a moment like this, well, not this exact moment, maybe a shopping trip or something like that, but she accepted this to be her first mother/daughter bonding time, hoping to see her child in the scan. Ronnie face lit up when Danielle squeezed her hands, Ronnie had always wanted to be there for her daughter, always wanted the moments that she could never forget, and this is one of them. Ronnie wanted to have seen her first footsteps, hear her first word, be able to walk her to school for the first time, but now is the time for a first, so she accepted this and waited to see her grandchild in the scan.

'Everything seems fine, can you see it?' The nurse kindly said, not really understanding the vibes she was getting from the relationship.

'Yes, I can, Wow,' Danielle stammered, staring into the scan. She couldn't believe that was her child, the child she would raise, a child she could be able to do whatever she wanted to with, with Ronnie at her side, she could do anything.

'Miss Jones, I just want to ask a few questions, is that ok?'

'Yes, sure,' Danielle replied, but she was concerned upon what was going to be asked, in case it meant she had to tell Ronnie who the father was, and she didn't want to loose the relationship she had just started.

'So, is this your first child?' The nurse had obviously not read Danielle's history, and this concerned Ronnie deeply.

'umm, No,' answered Danielle, with a slight quiver to her voice, she didn't want to talk about her Amy, not to virtually a stranger.

'Thank you, and do you know who the father is?'

Ronnie's eyes lit up, this was something she wanted to talk to Danielle about, see whether or not he could be involved in the childs life. But she was worried in case Danielle thought she was going too fast, they needed it to be one step at a time.

'Yes,' was all that Danielle could reply with. Why now she thought.

'Thank you, I'll get some pictures printed out for you, Your done,' The nurse was kind about the situation, but didn't want to go into any more detail as she saw Danielle's worry on her face.

'My baby,' Danielle whispered, staring into the screen. Ronnie smiled, exactly how she was with Danielle, and she squeezed Danielle's hand hoping never to let go.

**I am so sorry for it being so short, I was in need to get this chapter over and done with really, so I know this isn't my best work by any stretch of the imagination. To be honest, I'm not sure on whether to continue with this story, please message me on your opinions, as they are what matter. Thankyou to all those readers who have reviewed this story, you mean alot :) I can't promise a happy ending to this Ronielle, but I hope for it as a thank you to the readers, the eastenders writers, Lauren Crace + Samantha Womack as a tribute to the amazing storyline they created last year. Also a thankyou to all those other writers, as they have made a great distraction from the world of revision :P**

**Hit that green button and review,**

**lovee Abbi**


	10. Chapter 10

**This chapter is dedicated to my amazing friend Bethany Taylor, who's birthday it is, also to Taylor Swift, as like, she is awesome and I felt that Danielle could relate to her most, Swift has a knack at knowing everything to do with teenage girls. Sorry about adding Miley Cyrus, 'The Climb' is a proper cheesy song, and with Joe singing it for the x factor single, it just got cheesier, but you know, if you look at the words, it is kinda about how Danielle never gave up.**

Please review guys, the vibes I'm getting from reviewers is that they like this story, even though I've made Danielle be abused when she was younger, and Jack is the father to her unborn child.

Also, maybe I didn't really explain it well in earlier chapters, 'Daddy' is her foster dad, who is currently in prison for abusing her. 'Dad' is Andy.

If you need anything else explaining, please don't hesitate to contact me.

I have big plans for this story but it's not going to be a 30 chapter story, as although I love reading them, I have GCSE's to consider, and a Macbeth essay that was meant to be in by last November and I still havn't started it, you get my jist.

During the rest of the day Danielle and Ronnie got to know each other, well not exactly, it was more Ronnie getting to know Danielle's style of music, mainly that Danielle told her mother about the time she went to see Taylor Swift before she was famous, and how amazing she was back then. Ronnie listened to her every word, remembering everything her daughter says, whether its talking about the past or present, was a high priority now on Ronnie's list, she wanted to be able to catch up, for her mind rather than Danielle's, but it impressed Danielle that Ronnie was still listening, as she was always cautious in case 'cold' Ronnie returned.

'Danielle, Miley Cyrus, babe, theres a lot more to life than Hannah Montana,' Ronnie laughed, shocked that her daughter had such cheesy music on her iPod, she needed to be educated in music, and fast.

'Listen to this song, please, it's awesome,' Danielle replied. She didn't like the word 'babe' to be used, she wasn't ready, so she took eye contact away from Ronnie, she knew she was in control of the situation, but she didn't like the control, she wasn't used to it. Ronnie noticed the loss of eye contact, but didn't want to mention it, she didn't want to ask the questions, she felt Danielle wasn't ready for that.

As lyrics to The Climb boomed out of the docking station, the pair of them were in silence in the hospital room, and Ronnie took in the words used, and then realised what they meant.

'I'm so proud of you,' Ronnie whispered when the song finished.

'What for?' Danielle questioned, wondering what she was on about, for Danielle, it was about trying to get past the death of her 'mum', and the idea of hope of finding her daughter again.

'Everything, just, everything,' Ronnie mumbled, realising that Danielle didn't make her listen to that song in a suggestion that she never gave up on finding her.

The doctor came into the room, oblivious to the fact Taylor Swift was playing and said, 'Miss Jones, could I please talk to you, preferably private?' the doctor wondered whether Danielle had told her 'mother' the truth, as he had treated Danielle many times before.

Quickly switching the iPod off, Danielle replied, 'If you want to talk to me, you can say it in front of Ronnie too,' The only reason Danielle had suggested this is because she didn't want to be in the same room as the doctor, she still wasn't sure whether to trust her mother, mainly down to experience. Ronnie meanwhile, was overjoyed at what her daughter had said, she thought this could be a step into becoming the mother she has always wanted to be.

'Right, umm ok,' The doctor wasn't expecting Danielle to have already told Ronnie the truth, Danielle had kept it hidden from most people, the only people that ever knew the whole truth was the court, the two policewomen handling the case, the new adoptive parents, and him. She chose not to tell anyone, and everyone had to sign an agreement, it's why the Doctor is now permanently signed to Danielle, 'from the accident, there has been no lasting damage, just heavy bruising, regards your baby, it's doing fine, your very lucky Danielle, but regards to when you were younger, would you consider having counselling?' Danielle flinched, this was why she didn't want him to treat her, he always asked her to consider, but it was not what she wanted, she didn't want to talk about it, it still hurts her.

'Umm, no thank you,' Danielle stammered, 'I'll be fine,'

'Well if that's the case, we'll sort out the forms, and you can be discharged,' He left the room, glad to be of assistance, even if Danielle was being off with him.

Five minutes of silence followed this conversation, untill Ronnie said very very fast

'OwAbUStaWiMe?' Ronnie's nerves clearly overtook her.

Danielle almost laughing, 'Ronnie, can you repeat that?' She was trying so hard to keep the giggles away, she could tell it was difficult for Ronnie to talk to her, and she was slightly hurt by this but the way Ronnie spoke, it was so fast that Danielle couldn't stop the giggles not coming.

'How about you stay with me?' Ronnie repeated, slowly and clearly. She was slightly embarrassed by the fact Danielle had seen her nervous, yet it made Ronnie's heart warm up when she saw her daughter trying to keep the giggles away.

As soon as Ronnie said that, the giggles stopped abruptly stopped, Danielle didn't know what to say at this point, in her heart she really did, but her brain was telling her it's too soon, way too soon.

'Too soon,' Danielle said to herself, and then realising that she had said that out loud when Ronnie's face dropped.

'Ok, sure, it's been a very long day, do you want me to drop you off at Stacey's,' Ronnie tried to cover up her disappointment, she didn't want her daughter to think that she didn't understand what she was going through. She smiled at her daughter, hoping that she will be able to hold her, one thing she always dreamt off, and doing so preferably whilst she was conscious.

'Sure, thanks,' Danielle said, she couldn't understand why Ronnie was being so nice to her, always the one she hated, the one she took everything out on. She's still Danielle Jones, even if the subheading says 'Ronnie's daughter'

* * *

**WOOP, finally got them out of the hospital. YAY! Next chapter we'll see how Stacey reacts to everything that's happened. I've loved writing just the two of them talking, it's been amazing. Please review. There will be more heart to hearts, there has to be now that Ronnie knows the truth. Also, will Danielle tell Ronnie Jack is the father? Only if you review you'll find out, woop :D x**

**Lovee, Abbi**


	11. Chapter 11

As they arrived in Walford in a taxi, Stacey's voice started screeching so that the whole Square knew who was back. 'DANIELLLLEEEEEEEEEEEE' Danielle laughed, it was nice to be wanted, even if it was her best friend. Then it hit her, Danielle's going to have to explain to Stacey what's happened, and Stacey wont be happy. Ronnie saw this facial change from happy to concerned, and then became extremely worried for her daughter.

'Danielle, you alright? Are you sure you want to stay at the Slater's?' Ronnie asked, trying and failing not to look concerned for her daughter. Danielle quivered, but then said strongly, 'Yes Ronnie I'll be fine,' although her bones ached for her to be with her mother, she knew that she wasn't ready, and she wouldn't be for a long time, she thought she was ready, but the idea that she hadn't actually told her mother properly who she really was, frightened her.

Ronnie obviously really wanted to be with her child, and was trying really hard to not let her face drop from every rejection, but she understood why Danielle was doing this, she needed to learn rejection, the same way Danielle did.

The taxi stopped outside the Slater's, where Danielle got out of it, she barely whispered to Ronnie, 'Text me?' and then slammed the door shut. Danielle didn't see, but there was a tear from Ronnies eye.

* * *

'Oii Dan, why havn't you called? I wanted to know whether your ok? Ronnie knows Danielle, she knows,' Stacey rambled on as soon as Danielle entered the household. 'It's sooo amazing to see you Dan, you have no idea how much I've been worried, I wasn't allowed to go into the hospital, Ronnie wouldn't let me get in the ambulance with you, I guess she wanted to be there or somet,'

'It's ok Stace, seriously, don't worry about it,' Danielle replied as she entered the kitchen and sat down.

They were in silence for a few minutes, besides the kettle being switched on, it's unusual for the Slater household to be quiet.

'So, are you going to tell me what happened, what happened when you and Ronnie talked, did you talk?' Stacey asked, not sure whether Danielle would talk, but she really wanted to know whether her best friend was ok, she felt guilty for not being with Danielle at the hospital, so she wanted to be there for Dan during this presumably difficult time.

'Umm, Yes, If you want,' Danielle muffled, but realising she was ready to tell her best friend at least one thing she found out whilst at the hospital, 'Stace, I'm pregnant again,'

Stacey's face was completely white, in shock, she couldn't believe it, her best friend, pregnant, for the second time in 5 months.

'And, do you know the dad?' Stacey asked, determined to know more, Danielle almost laughed, the same thing that Ronnie said.

'Yes,' Danielle replied, praying that Stace wouldn't ask anymore questions. As soon as Danielle said yes though, her phone beeped, and she looked and had a text message

'Hey, just checking to see if your ok, sorry if I'm being a nuisance, maybe we could go out 2moz? Ronnie x'

Danielle smiled, she just knew Ronnie would want to text her, but she didn't feel in the mood to text back, she needed to tell Stace about the baby, and who the father is, before even thinking about a reply.

'Stace, please don't get mad, please. It's Jack, Jack's the dad,' Danielle cried, and sobbed into Stacey's arms. Stacey didn't really know what to say. In one respect, she was angry, not at Danielle, but at Jack, couldn't Jack see that Danielle was vunerable, plus he had already got Roxy pregnant out of the Mitchells, would it be Ronnie next. The other respect was complete understanding to Danielle, she wanted to get back at Ronnie, for everything she's done, and that is the best way regards how the Mitchells do it, they go the whole hog.

'Oh Dan, what am I going to do with you?' Stacey sighed, and laughed.

'What?' They broke up the hug suddenly.

'I've been acting like such a mother to you recently, you know,' Stacey somehow had hurt her friend, but she was trying to make it up to her.

'Please don't talk about mothers, I'm not in the mood,' Danielle said suddenly, going to get her coat.

'Oii, Dan, where you off?' Stacey asked, being completely concerned for her best friends interests.

'Ronnies, I need to tell her something,' And she slammed the front door shut, leaving Stacey astonished at her best friends sudden mood swing.

What do you think is going to happen guys? If you havn't see it, I have a new Ronnielle fic, called Ronnie Knows, Please check it out, not to mention review this one. Thanks. Do you like the Stacey I've made? Is it enough like the character in the actual episodes.

I'm thinking about bringing Glenda into this story, as last Thursday's episode of Ronnie and Glenda was AMAZING. Fabulous in fact.

Abbi x


	12. Chapter 12

All that Ronnie wanted was to know her daughter was ok. Technically, she just wanted to be with her daughter, be able to say to her 'I love you' and hold her, but she knew that she couldn't yet, she doubted she could for a while yet. With Danielle at the Slater's, all that Ronnie wanted to do was brake the front door down and take her daughter to Ronnie's house. She knew this was out of order though, this relationship needed to be at Danielle's pace. No matter what. Ronnie's heart lifted when Danielle whispered 'Text me,' it showed Ronnie a glimpse of being wanted, and Ronnie loved the idea.

At the flat, Ronnie took her phone out, and it took her a few moments to work out what she would type. It was so nerve racking, sending a text. She wanted it to be perceived in the right way. She typed the message in, looked at it, and pressed send.

For the next half hour, Ronnie just sat, remembering what her daughter had told her, all of her past. A tear went down Ronnie's cheek, she felt so guilty for not being able to look after her Danielle in the first place, guilt turned into anger at her dad, for making sure Ronnie gave her away. All she was praying was a text back, all she was praying.

All of a sudden 3 loud bangs were on the door, so Ronnie opened the door, to see Danielle. Ronnie smiled, 'Hey, you received my text?'

'Yeaa, umm, I need to tell you something,' and Danielle just went inside without Ronnie's permission, however Ronnie didn't mind, she would do anything just to see her daughter.

They went into the living room, where Danielle just sat down.

'I didn't realise, but at the hospital, all we talked about was me, and now looking back, it was wrong of me to do, so now I'm going to ask,' Danielle started raising her voice, 'why did you give me away, and I want the truth,'

Ronnie's reaction was nothing except

'Do you want a drink?'

'I don't want a drink, I want the truth,' Danielle's voice rising rapidly, surprisingly by Ronnie, and sat down on one of the chairs. 'I want the truth on why you gave me away, I want it so we can maybe put it all behind us, I want the truth, all of it, none left out. I want to know why you weren't there, why I had to put up with all the crap when you and Roxy went to Ibiza. I just want answers,' Danielle's words started wobbling, and she realised she couldn't be strong, couldn't be the Mitchell she wanted to be. And the tears flowed as she continued shouting at Ronnie, 'TELL ME, WHY COULDN'T YOU BE THERE FOR ME. WHY?'

Ronnie's motherly instincts took hold of her, and she sat down next to Danielle and let her sob on Ronnie shoulders. She wanted to do this sort of thing forever, but she didn't want it in this context. She knew she hurt Danielle, the effects were showing now to Ronnie how much she had. Ronnie felt so guilty for making Danielle think and feel this way. She was going to do all she could, for her, the baby, and herself.

**Small Chapter, not sure on whether Danielle should reveal the truth about the father. What do you think? Review, get your voice across and we'll see where my writing takes us all.**

**Abbi x**


	13. Chapter 13

'Danielle, I know this is going to be really hard for you and me and we do need to talk this over at some stage, but I'm not going to talk to you about it if your just going to demand it. Yes I know you have every right to, but I would rather talk to you when your able to understand, not shout at me,' Ronnie sighed, she was making up excuses and she knew it. She just wasn't ready to talk to her daughter about Archie, Glenda, or the reasons why, she's just got her baby back, she doesn't want to remember that dark place in her life. All of her life has been dark, and getting her baby back might make it light again, like that glimmer of light 19 years ago, holding her baby in her arms, then that glimmer to be taken away with her baby. She couldn't tell her daughter yet.

'Please Ronnie, I just want to know,' Danielle mumbled. Coming out the 'crying on shoulder' position and looking into Ronnie's eyes.

'Danielle, you need to understand, since I've known the truth about you, all I've been thinking about is you, and believe you me that's all I want to do. When you went out of my life, you were always in the back of my mind, but I had to accept that it was your choice on if you wanted to find me. Something I didn't want to, so it took a long while. I've been going through my head everything that's happened, that night, the abortion, all the little things I've done to hurt you, and the amount you've been through. I'm scared to hurt you, I never want to hurt you again. You were always there, in my mind. I wondered what you were doing, what words you were speaking at that point, what colour your hair is, whether you've changed it. What emotions you were going through. I wanted to know, but I couldn't know. So although I accepted it, I didn't want to. I never wanted to.' Ronnie had tears going down her face, so she was wiping them away still continuing her speech and looking at Danielle. Ronnie realised she had told her daughter some thing's about what she did whilst she was away. It felt natural to tell her daughter everything, but she knew if she did, it would be too much too soon, there was a baby inside Danielle to consider, and she didn't want Danielle in so much stress as she knew it could affect the baby.

Danielle looked in awe of her mother, she never knew that Ronnie had so many deep emotions. Ronnie had always presented the 'bitch' look to Danielle, but now, with everything changed, those walls came down.

Ronnie needed to Danielle this secret, one that she hadn't told before. One that, if told once, could be told again. But at the same time, Danielle had told her what had happened to her. If she said anything, hell wall would be gone, the wall he created.


	14. Chapter 14

**Basically I've decided to finish off this story now, basically I have way too much coursework/exams coming up for me to spend my time writing this, plus I don't think anyone is reading it, so it's better off finished!**

**Also, Ronnie Knew, that story will be continued with if and when I get the inspiration, like I did with this, too long chapter, hope your all in with a good read LOL.**

7 Months Later

Ronnie slammed the door to her flat, and screamed, shouted, cried her heart out. It didn't happen, her baby, Danielle, gone. It was too much to take in, a shock. 'No, this is all a dream, god, please, it's a dream, right?' Ronnie shouting to herself, no-one could hear her. But she knew the answer. Danielle Mitchell, dead. Today, at Walford hospital from child birth, it shouldn't of happened. But it was fate, the doctor's did the best they could. It couldn't be stopped. Ronnie couldn't save her. The baby inside Danielle also, gone. So much information, so much shock. Ronnie slid down the wall of her flat. She knew, it was over. She was back to the hard Ronnie, Ice queen Ronnie. She didn't want to go back. Inside, she knew it was her way of coping. Complete ice in her body. Her warmth left with Danielle, and her heart went with Charlotte, Danielle's baby. She just carried on crying, she didn't know what else to do. When the tears stop, the Ice Queen starts again. She wasn't ready yet, she wasn't ready to go back there, so soon since the happiness of Danielle. Her Amy. She had waited nineteen years for her baby, and she had a magical seven months with her. Then tonight, the night where it should have been amazing, she lost her daughter, and granddaughter, all in a matter of seven minutes. On the 7th December 2009, Danielle, Ronnie's baby was lost, with Danielle's baby.

* * *

A few days later, Ronnie decided to get up, to get dressed. She stank, and she knew it, she didn't care though. She didn't want to care. Care was an emotion, she didn't want to have any emotion in her body anymore. It went with Danielle and Charlotte. There would always be pain in her body, her guilt. For not being able to save Danielle, or Charlotte. The guilt that she had had since Danielle told her the worst past possible for her daughter. She went into Danielle's room, the first time in the past week. The buggy that was meant to be used for Charlotte, the cot. Danielle's wardrobe, the dress she wore to Peggy and her dad's wedding. Ronnie remembered how beautiful she looked, her eyes glowing in happiness, only to be crushed by Ronnie's anger. Ronnie's guilt was overwhelming. The way she treated Danielle before she knew the truth, she didn't want to believe she actually did that.

Ronnie noticed a notebook, a notebook that she hadn't seen before, left on her dressing table. She sat down at the table, careful not to touch anything. She knew she wanted to keep this room exactly how it was. Ronnie got the notebook, and turn the pages over…

Letters, or notes, to Ronnie, from her daughter.

_Dear Ronnie_

_I have decided that I'm going to write letters to you, whilst getting to know you. Sad, I know. Stupid? Probably. Well first off, I'm pregnant, you know this, you took me to my first scan! I really want a girl, to complete us. We'll find Amy, and the four of us, together. Forever, the way I want it. I hope you want that too... I just want to say, thank you, for believing me. I mean, I'm writing this at Stacey's, the last words I spoke to you was 'Text me?' I doubt you heard me though. I'm really sorry if I'm treating you with cruelness, I just don't understand why, who, where, what… but we can find it, together. Even though I don't show it, I love you, really, I do. But it's going to be hard, I mean, you've just found out about Amy, daddy, everything. Must be a bit of a shock. You know, it was a shock for me, being able to tell you that easily. We can get through this. I hope we can. You're my mum right, oh it feels strange writing that. Mum, Mum, Mum, Mum, Mum, Mum, Mum, Mum, Mum, Mum, Mum, Mum, Mum, Mum, Ronnie Mitchell = MY Mum, Ronnie Mitchell = MY Mum, Ronnie Mitchell = MY Mum, Ronnie Mitchell = MY Mum, Ronnie Mitchell = MY Mum, Ronnie Mitchell = MY Mum, Ronnie Mitchell = MY Mum, Ronnie Mitchell = MY Mum. oh dear, I hope you don't read this, imagine if you did, you'll think I'm a right lunatic lol. I should really scratch most of that out. Oh well, it's staying, I like it! Danielle x_

Ronnie was in shock, she hadn't known her daughter was writing these, when she was in her room and Ronnie left her to it. She felt even more guilty, wondering if there was anything else she didn't know about her baby. Yet the happiness that her daughter had kept these, the happiness that her daughter had written them. She wanted to carry on, imagine how her daughter felt writing these letters to her.

_Dear Ronnie_

_All I can say is this. Thank you, Thank you. So much. Letting me scream, shout at you. Tell you how I feel. I do feel it, I wanted answers, and you've given them to me, so easily. You told me about your dad, about when I was born. Your dad manipulated everything. And I feel so guilty for believing him. He gave me money from you to leave! But I guess, I had some of you in me (wait, I do, duhh!) and wanted to know whether it was you actually who said this. I wanted to know the truth. I knew something didn't add up, and I was right. You want me! Can't believe it. YOU - the most beautiful, intelligent person ever, wanted ME - a loser in your life. That really hasn't sunk in yet. If you ever read this I bet you'll think what a strange person. My reply, well, you made me! + I can actually say that to you, all my friends used to say that at school to their mothers, and I couldn't to mine. Lizzie was lovely, amazing. She did everything for me. Why does everything need to be so complicated anymore? I hate complicatedness. It is the most annoying thing in the world._

_I can't believe it, Granddad. Why him? No, way. I don't get it, now looking back to earlier on last night. Why didn't you tell me before? Why? Oh my god. He did that to you. You know how it feels. Oh it's so hard to take it. Promise me something? We can get through this, it may be hard. We can. Love Danielle x_

'Baby, we got through it, me and you, Love you so much. You're my world' Ronnie said, her eyes were streamed in tears. The tears hadn't stopped yet. 'Maybe with these, I wont go back,' Ronnie though, as she turned the next page to see even more of Danielle's fluent handwriting. She loved the fact her daughter saw most things in a positive way. She loved her positive writing. Ronnie imagined her daughters face. The beautiful blonde hair, gorgeous eyes. Ronnie's perfect daughter. Her tears began streaming as she read the next page…

_Dear Ronnie_

_Stacey had this right go at me when I went back over there, she blames you for me lashing out at her. Well, it is kinda your fault, but she doesn't know everything about me. I'm hoping she never will. Mind you, you don't know everything about me, but we're going to change that right? I want to get to know you so much. It's unbelievable how much I do you know? Nahh, you don't. I just hope you're the same about me. I hope you can accept me. No matter how hard I try to push you away, I'll always want you. Always and forever, me, you against the world. Nothing else matters, ohh and my baby too. My baby.. I'm your baby, baby. What does that word actually mean? Baby, my baby, my Amy. Love Danielle._

Ronnie almost laughed. Stacey having a go at someone was never knew. She loved her daughters determination in her writing. 'Baby, we did the best we could,' Ronnie whispered to the paper.

_Dear Ronnie_

_I cant believe you, if you knew you wouldn't of taken me for the abortion. You would of told me to keep it! Two faced bitch. Why Ronnie? Why? I don't get it. Back then, I thought you would always say how you would feel. Saying I was your worst mistake, I thought it was all true. I thought you were giving me truthful advice, how you felt about things. I didn't care when that lady in the hospital called you mum. I Do now. A lot. Danielle. _

Ronnie's guilt came back again with the reminder of what happened that day, the day after the long talk, the day after Ronnie had said her life story to her daughter. That day she told Danni at the R'n'R's that she never wanted her to have the abortion. She never meant to call her a mistake, she was never a mistake. Although Danielle never showed her anger to her mum, she wrote it down on paper. 'Baby, if only I knew, we could of sorted it,' Ronnie spoke to the paper imagining that the paper was her daughter. The 20 year old.

_Dear Ronnie_

_I see Jack's eyeing you up when we went to the club for a drink to sort this afternoon out. I'm sorry, sorry for overreacting. You and Jack are the perfect couple, you compliment each other so well. Sorry for over-reacting. I understand, I do. Oh everything is just so confusing. Please Ronnie, one step at a time, for me? Danielle._

Ronnie smiled at this one, she loved the fact Danielle could notice anything even when her attention was elsewhere. She loved everything about her daughter. Her life, her life now shattered because her baby had gone. The realisation had began. Danielle had moved on, to better places, where no-one could hurt her again. Including Ronnie.

_Ronnie,_

_Oh today was so good. Never laughed so much in my life! Well, there was this one time when me and Gareth started playing this wrestling game and then Gareth decided to turn it into a tickling game. He found my weak spot that day. Oh dear. Anyway, me, you, Roxy and Amy. Roxy just making sure everyone notices us lol. Is she always like that? You bought me so much stuff! I'm expecting you to wear the stuff a few times, I think we're the same size? I'll be annoyed if we're not. You didn't buy yourself anything either. You know if there is a next time, please please please, buy something for yourself, you'd be surprised. Although, the best thing about today? You smiling, never seen you smile like that before ever. It made me feel proud, to have you as a mum. Mum. What a word. Now I hear Lizzie in my head 'Mum is a word that has to be earnt' and she's right. I can't talk to you about everything yet. I don't feel ready. It's why I need to go and see Dad, Gareth and the family. Just to tell them, tell the truth. They need that at least. Oh it's going to be so hard telling you in real life. That smile is going to turn upside down in a flash. Oh your calling me for dinner, best I better get off or you might murder me. Joke. Lol. Danielle._

Ronnie's mind went back to that day, the first time they had been shopping together, the four of them, together. Roxy saying 'When Amy's older, she's going to have a wail of a time with us as her family, not going to know what's hit you are you?' Knowing It'll never happen again, Ronnie's eyes had more water in their eyes. She needed to get some water, to stop her becoming dehydrated. But she didn't care about that, she wanted to know more about what her baby had written. More about how she felt when she spent time with her. She remembered when Danielle had told her about leaving Walford to see her Dad and Gareth. How sad Ronnie felt, knowing she wouldn't see her daughter for a few days. The idea she would never see her daughter again sickened Ronnie, so she put it to the back of her mind. Ronnie then realised she needed to speak to Andy, and Gareth, tell them what's happened. She needed to do that soon.

_Ronnie,_

_I'm on the train, having just got the text from you, Roxy and Stacey saying virtually exactly the same message at exactly the same time! Strange. I hope your not crying, I'm only gone for a few days. Don't cry. Oh dear, I'm crying. Shouldn't be. I can't help it. 'Always look on the bright side of life' do you know that song? I don't know anything about you really do I? Am I good enough? Once the next few days are over, We can talk maybe. Depends on whether I'm up to it. Oh the joys of morning sickness. Brilliant. I remember the first time around. Were you bad with me? Danielle._

'baby, I wasn't bad with you, every time I was sick I remembered the reason why,' Ronnie said quietly to the notebook. 'You are the most perfect person ever,' She remembered every morning after Ronnie's birthday, holding Danielle's hair back, telling her everything was going to be ok. 'Must remember the good times,' Ronnie said to herself, as she carried on reading..

_Ronnie,_

_By the way, I've decided not to do the whole 'Dear Ronnie' thing because it sounds too formal, too perfect. And, to be honest, we're not the 'perfect' family. The most dysfunctional one ever at the moment LOL. I mean come on, I have two sets of parents, doesn't get as dysfunctional as that! And your Mum and Dad, well, their not exactly the best in the world. But at the moment Ronnie, you're the best I could ask for! I hope it lasts that's all._

_Anyway, get back onto why I'm writing less than six hours since the last one. Basically (into story mode) Andy is like, 'Dan, your not preggers again are you,' almost making a laughing stock out of it. Not fair. Why is it that no-one understands? I barely 'do it' after what happened when I was younger, then both times I've done it since happen to make me pregnant. Brilliant._

_I've told him the truth, he respected it. Which surprised me, because I thought he would be like 'Oh Danii, you have me and Gareth, you don't need anyone'. But he hasn't, he's being really supportive. Even wants to meet you. But then again, I can hear him crying in his room whilst I'm writing this. Makes me feel really bad. I don't mean to hurt him. He and Lizzie, they got me out of the worst situation possible, they helped me cope. And then I decide to tell them their not good enough? Oh Ronnie what do I do? I need you so much. Oh the good side I'm coming back tomorrow, but I'm staying at Stacey's. I promised her some girlie time. I need to really. Need to tell her I'm sorry. Danielle._

Ronnie cried at her daughter's caring for other people. Her 'other' Mum and Dad, Gareth, Stacey. So many people Ronnie barely knew. She never met Andy, Danielle said she would meet them when the baby did, so that all the attention wasn't on her! Danielle knew how nervous Ronnie was of meeting Andy, but only Ronnie knew it was because she was jealous that Andy had raised her since she was 11. He turned Danielle's life back around, and she couldn't. She didn't know. Ronnie's eyes still leaked with tears as she carried on.

_Ronnie,_

_Back already I here you cry? Well I dunno whether or not you would of lol, but I was trying to think of a decent opening sentence like we did at GCSE's. Got a B in English Language and Literature, amazing considering I lost all of my primary school education. Better tell you my other grades now, but I'm sure you'll find out anyway. Got a C in Maths, Science Additional, Science Applied (two science GCSE's, and to think I work on a stall), ICT and Religious Education. Can't believe I passed that, it was my lesson to catch up on sleep! My best one though, got a B in Music, amazing for me, considering I have no idea how to read music! I play the piano by sight see, was my way of getting away from things. Until I decided to look for you, I didn't need something to get me away from my problems, I was being a true Mitchell, confronting them ha-ha. I will never be a true Mitchell, you can't pull me in that easily, Joke._

_I'm at Stacey's. Bet your shocked I'm back so soon. So glad you haven't seen me yet. Stacey says I look a right state. Long Journey back, with lots of tearful goodbyes, I think Andy realised it could be the last time I was going to see him in a while. I think he understood that I need you. More than ever. He's accepted it, even embraced it._

_Maybe I'm writing these to tell you how I feel when I can't talk. Maybe, I still don't understand why I'm doing it. Stacey has forgiven me. She doesn't know everything still. It's going to take a while to even tell her about Amy and things. Tonight Stacey said she's not going to be drinking, a first for her, I think! Anyway, she says Jean's cooking sausage surprise, and let me tell you something, it's different EVERYTIME. Maybe you'll eat it one day. Maybe. Love Danielle._

Ronnie was so proud, so proud of her daughters grades. Yet so annoyed she has only just found out. Maybe this was how Danielle wanted it? Her to know by her writing, not by her voice. She could only imagine what Danielle was thinking up there. She didn't know her daughter. But she knew about Jean's sausage surprise, just a few weeks before the Slater's had invited them over for a meal. Ronnie thought about how she should still keep in touch with them, they were so nice to her at the meal, helped Danielle so much. Believed her when even she didn't. The thought was killing her. So much.

_Ronnieeeee,_

_Oh it was so good to see you this morning, looked like you were about to go on your bike! If I wasn't preggers eyy? On my lunch break at the moment. Ian is giving me right evil looks. I don't care, he doesn't understand why I'm doing this, I don't think I do haha!!_

_You've just come into the caf, so I had to stop writing for a bit. Don't particularly want you to see this whilst I'm still writing, much rather want you to see the finished product. Oh I'm such a perfectionist. I might warn you about that actually, better I did now, then when this baby comes out. I'll want everything perfecto, your in for a tough ride Ronnie. Love Danielle._

Ronnie wept 'I should of taken you out on that bike, should of shown you the world,' Ronnie thought about all the different places she should of taken her daughter. And even laughed even Danielle called herself a perfectionist, Ronnie went more along the lines of obsessed with perfection…

_Ronnie_

_Been about a month since I last wrote to you, we've done many things, many small insignificant things that actually mean the most to me ever. I'll just jot them down so that I remember them_

_-You took me into London, just us, and you took me to see Wicked, my all time favourite Musical, with Kerry Ellis in, it was AMAZING, so glad you enjoyed it too.._

_- Ohh yeaa, when we just randomly went on the tube, and I got my Ipod out, and you actually sang along to Taylor Swift! That made my day that did, made me laugh too. You got all embarrassed!!!_

_- The first family dinner, ohh that was scary, but you were there, holding my hand, sensing how nervous I was. But Roxy was being Roxy, making sure everyone had a smile on their face's. It was amazing, so caring._

_- When I made you sit down and watch the whole of the new Doctor Who! I can't believe you did that. You did it for me. So proud of you. So proud._

_- I showed you that I could sing, I could tell, your facial expression was mesmerizing. Mind you, also hilarious. But you know ;)_

_Their just a few I can remember really Ronnie, it's so great doing random things with you. You just never cease to amaze me!_

_Lovee youu. Danielle_

Ronnie was delighted that Danielle was so happy during that month. All those things they did together had a true affect on her daughter. She loved it. The tears streaming now because of happiness that she had made her daughter happy!

_Mum,_

_In your house again, you've just asked me to move in. By the way, when I say 'Can I go to the loo, usually means I'm writing one of these. Just to warn you if you ever end up reading these, and I'm sure I'll be in the most tragic of circumstance's. Usually happens, it's the Mitchell's on Albert Square, something awful is going to happen right? It's destiny. Anyway, back to today. Curry night, Dvd's Got you into 'Sisterhood of Travelling Pants' and 'Gossip Girl' Oh dear, right teenagers stuff LOL. Glad you liked them, or at least you said you did. Never know with you these days whether you like it or you like being with me. At the moment though I don't care because I like being with you too!! Oh we have such a marathon ahead. With my collection of DVD's in your house, you won't know whats hit you! I'll change your mind about your hate of Doctor Who for sure! Catherine Tate is so funny. Why am I writing this down, maybe it's like the last one I need to, because we're making that big step forward. The idea, that me, you and this one in my belly. And Amy when we find her, become one big family, in time. When we talk, we'll do this. We can. Maybe I'll even change my name to Mitchell. Danielle Mitchell. Woahh, whatta good name. Now I know, your going to be there, every step of the way. Such a big step. This is my to-do list before 2010. Hope you like it.._

_**1) Make sure I spend as much happy time with My mum as possible, because no matter what happens or how it happens, you're my mum. My mummy. The mummy from the locket (I still wear it by the way) and when my baby arrives, all the focus will be on her, in these next few months it's on me and you. Always.**_

_**2) Get to know the Mitchell's better, they are my family right? I remember the cleaning times, even if you didn't know now, I couldn't do that job in my state, being sick every morning at the moment - NOT helping things really. Also, this doesn't count, but Roxy is not getting me drunk! No matter ho hard she tries.**_

_**3) Work harder on the stall! I know Stacey is going to kill me if I take another sick day off, after everything she's done for me. She was there every time I cried over you, every time I smiled over you. Yet I've virtually ignored her, not happening anymore!**_

_**4) Buy some of my own stuff, your not letting me buy anything at the moment, I'm not going to take it for very much longer.**_

_**5) See Andy and Gareth, I havn't seent them in a while, but I want you to come with me, we'll have to arrange it.**_

_**6) Understand what it's like to see things from your point of view, that could help a lot really couldn't it. Never had to do it before, always gotton away with murder!**_

_**6) Finally, get in some way contact with my Amy, my little girl. Born 24**__**th**__** August 2001. Or at least make progress, it's not going to happen before the next ten years, but maybe you could do something, or Jack, I don't know.**_

_Which reminds me, say if I get ran over or something (knowing Albert Square, anything could happen), and you randomly find these in your room. If I'm not around, which is highly unlikely, do me a favour. Don't cry, Or at least do for a while, you need to cry over me, I changed your life! But find Amy, look after her, tell her all about me, She will understand. Hopefully, she has enough of me and you in her._

_Also, I need to tell you the truth, the one truth I could never tell you face to face. I couldn't. The father of my baby. The reason why you've been holding my hair back every morning, doing it without thinking 'eww' or anything like that._

_Jack, he's the reason why. Jack, he was there after the abortion, he listened, and although he didn't know anything, I suppose he felt sorry for me. Tell him, please. For me._

_Please find Amy._

_I loveeeeeee youu soo much Mummyyy Mummy Mum Mum Mum. Veronica Mitchell, the last letter I write to you. _

_Your daughter for 20 years._

_Amy/Danielle. _

Ronnie knew, from that letter, and every other, she had to stop the tears, think about the future. Find Amy, do what Danielle had told her too. Her life had a purpose, and she didn't need her Ice image anymore. With these letters, she always had her daughter. Like with the locket. Her daughter gone, but her grandchild still alive, alive to be found. And the hunt was on to find her grandchild, at the age of 36, she was a grandma, and she was going to be a brilliant one at that!

Although, ten years later, Danielle's room had never changed, Ronnie had found Amy, now called Katie, and Ronnie explained how come she had been brought into the world. And although Katie didn't talk to Ronnie for about a week after Katie found out the truth, the relationship was now building. And Ronnie was almost as happy as she was during those tender months with her daughter. She's never shown Katie these letters, she doesn't think she ever will, because they were directed at her, it was Ronnie's memory of Danielle. She would never forget it.

One thing was always at the back of Ronnie's mind, Jack. Jack was never told about him being the Dad to Charlotte. But Ronnie forgave Jack after 5 years of Jack sending flowers with apology notes after she told Jack she knew about her sleeping with Danielle. Their now good friends, still co-owners of the R'n'R. She doesn't want anything serious, she doesn't think Danielle would forgive her for that. She just wants to be there for Katie, and, yes, although they have their arguments, the relationship is building.

**I really hope you like this, please review it, I have spent about 2 hours writing this, and I really want to to be read and reviewed so that I can say that this is the first story that has actually worked. Thankyouu to all the people who have read and reviewed this story. And Thankyou to Eastenders to give me the motivation for me to write this.**


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